My rush for the 17h11

It is 4:55 pm and I am anxious. Will I make it? Will the people allow me?

 

For the last 6 months I am doing an internship at the JW Marriott hotel in Cannes while still living in Nice. My daily commute is by train from Nice to Cannes and back. A train ride that in itself is a breeze and probably the most beautiful commute one could hope for. With the Mediterranean Sea on one side, the morning gives me a beautiful view of the first rays of the sun dancing on the calm waters; and the evening brings forth a radiant glow on the sky and the waters taking me to a different world altogether. It is truly heavenly!

 

However, to experience this is a challenge every morning and also in the evening. The morning train that I usually like to take is the one that leaves Nice Ville at 08h02 that reaches me at 08h35, permitting me to buy a cup of coffee and enjoy it on the Croisette; sitting on a bench and looking out on to the serene hills to the extreme right of Cannes and the multi-million dollar yachts to my left and the endless sea (sometimes spotted with monstrous cruise ships) straight-ahead. Then, there is the 08h06 train that reaches me at 08h48, allowing me exactly the 10 minutes to walk to my hotel and the 2 minutes to walk down to my office to be on time at 09h00. The morning run to the train station, as it normally is rather than a relaxed walk, is thanks to my procrastination to get up on time. When I reach on time, I am elated and nothing can compare that feeling of happiness when you know that you did everything right on time since getting up! This morning run, however is due to my own actions and can't really fault anyone with that. It has at least forced me to exercise a bit; although for a couple minutes of the uphill run.......

 

The trains are seldom on time when I arrive at the station on time, be it in the morning or in the evening. And, Murphy's law seems to prevail every time I arrive at the station on time and the train is late. I can safely say, that out of the 10 trains I take during the work-week, 7 of them are late. But, they will always be on time when I am late.

 

The evening is another chore altogether. If I am out the office door exactly at 17h00, I reach the train station exactly on time for the 17h11 train (if it is on time). This journey from my office to the train station is an adventure of sorts. It is fraught with risks. And, I can't even plan it properly although I have been doing for the last so many months. The risks are - people!

 

Rue d'Antibes is the main shopping street in Cannes and unfortunately my route to the train station. It is filled with people and it's a very narrow street. It has very narrow pavements and a very narrow one-way street, always filled with cars and crazy two-wheelers winding their way through this mess; sometimes even through the pavements.

 

It has really been an interesting, although quite irritating at times, experience. People watching has been at its best. The single most important thing that I have learned is that "PEOPLE DO NOT, AND I REPEAT, DO NOT WALK STRAIGHT". Especially, people with dogs. I love dogs, but the infatuation with dogs in France has to be seen to be believed. I sometimes wonder if it's even a love for dogs for the French; because some of them would more appropriately be classified as 'rats'.

 

Yes, I understand that it's a shopping street and that people will look around. But, sometimes it is no less than walking through a mine-field. I can easily liken the dangers of a mine-field to walking on Rue d'Antibes; more so if you want to get somewhere on time. People walking hand-in-hand will walk tirelessly slow, not even looking at the shops but reveling in their own world of love. They will also take up the center of the pavement so you can't even go past them unless you push them aside or ask them hurriedly to move out of your way. Old people will also walk slow, but they are more predictable in their speeds. But, they have a tendency to suddenly stop and admire something. And, considering that they are old, and that I am walking really fast and not to knock them over, I have run the risk of banging into someone or something or someone banging into me because, either I have to change direction or stop very suddenly.

 

Then, the most dangerous of all - kids. They are extremely unpredictable in their speeds, their direction and every thing else. Avoiding them, rather avoiding hurting them is the most challenging. And, their parents for some reason don't really care where and how their kids wander around on such a busy street. Sometimes, families walk in a single horizontal line taking up the entire pavement.

 

For other age groups in general, I am less considerate when their walking bears resemblance to nothing more than a random walk. It is also quite funny sometimes when people walking straight would all of a sudden, within the blink of an eye change direction and come right in your way. Then, I also have people bumping into me from all directions. Moreover, to top it all, there are really well-dressed and polished looking people asking for money. They will greet you very nicely and then ask you for money. I have realized now, not to even pay any attention to these people.

 

Quite fortunately, the last 6 months through this mine-field have gone by without any major incident. But, I have indeed missed my train a few times. My anxiety continues to persist. Will I make the 17h11? I don't have to worry much longer as I finish my internship on the 31st of December, But, I shall definitely miss this daily evening adventure.

 

 

 

Sunrise from the train (1)

 

 

Sunrise from the train (2)

 

 

Sunset from the Croisette (1)

 

 

Sunset from the Croisette (2)

 

 

Sunset from the Croisette (3)

 

 

A relatively quiet afternoon on Rue d'Antibes.

 





 

 

JW Marriott Cannes

 

Lunch Break!!!

 

As I walk alone.....

(Carras Plage)

As I walk alone on this moonlit beach,

Pebbles crackle under my feet.

I look upon the night, all I see is a sky filled with bright moonlight.

Does it want to say to me? I shall guide your path, let your troubles be?

I wonder, does it make any sense, this life I have chosen for myself?

Answers do not come and I keep on pondering,

How do I make my life worth the living?

The worth of my life, who shall decide?

Is it me or the ebb and flow of the tide?

As I walk alone on this moonlit beach,

Pebbles crackle under my feet.

In these foreign lands, I shall do what I can,

that what lies within my hands.

My motherland beckons me thither.

Does it make a difference that I remain hither or thither?

I know not what the future holds,

I know this, that I can't fold.

I stand on my feet, everytime life pushes me down,

I promise to myself, I shall persevere without a frown.

As I walk alone on this moonlit beach,

Pebbles crackle under my feet.

Towards a goal unbeknownst,

I wonder when, a hand as yet unknown,

Shall hold my hand,

Always besides me, firm shall stand,

To steady my way on a rainy day.

To face with me, come what may.

As I walk alone on this moonlit beach,

Pebbles crackle under my feet........

Being a 'Hindou' in France.

Being a 'Hindou' in France can be a very complicated and confusing existence. It is bewildering. The majority of the Hindus in the world live in India, so I shall assume an Indian nationality. In fact, a person from any religion can be a 'Hindou' in France and not only the actual Hindus. For example, a Christian can be a Hindou, so can a Jew and so can a Muslim or a Parsi and so can any other that bears any sort of resemblence to being from India.

For some, and fortunately not for the majority of the French, they can't differentiate between or don't know the two words 'Indien/Indienne' which means 'Indian' and the person that belongs to the religion of 'Hinduism' i.e. a Hindu. I am an Indian and I am a Hindu, but apparently I have realised that these two identities, although complementary, get reduced to one - Hindou!

I don't really object to it and neither do I feel insulted. I just find it to be very funny and the implications even funnier, where, like I mentioned, anyone can be a Hindou! A few months ago, I was looking for an apartment and the lady who was showing me an apartment was so flabbergasted when I told her that I was from India that she asked me 3-4 times - Vous êtes vraiment hindou? (Are you really a Hindu?). I found her bewilderment to be extremely funny and yet at the same time I was confused as to why my existence was such a revelation to her.

I was reminded of a comic piece performed by the stand-up comedian Russell Peters, who says that Westerns have an image of Indians in their minds (sitting on top of elephants and flying on magic carpets and charming snakes, etc. etc.) and then we go to their countries and destroy this charming image. And those who don't believe me that Westerners have this image (not all), I can tell you personal stories of people having asked me some very stupid things, as well as introduce you to people who have been asked similar questions.

Anyway, until I realised that some French were actually not sure of the exact word, my own bewilderment continued to increase and somehow, I was getting proud of being a 'hindou'. Oh My God! My religion commands so much awe and respect!!!!!!!

A boy looks out the window.

It's raining,

A boy looks out the window,
He doesn't realise it's raining. The concept of rain is incomprehensible. The concept of a concept is incomprehensible. It thunders. His mother cuddles him in her arms. He goes to sleep.

A boy looks out the window,
He understands it's water falling from the sky. He wonders where it comes from. Who turned on the shower in the sky? Who is pouring buckets of water on the Earth? Where is this water actually coming from?

A boy looks out the window,
The rain excites him. He knows it may not last for a long time. There is only a certain amount of water in the clouds  at one time. He wants to go out in to the rain and get drenched. He begs with his mother until she allows him to out, albeit wearing his rain-coat. He agrees to this compromise quickly.

A boy looks out the window,
He has already planned to go out and play when it rains. He has planned to play football with his friends. His mother forbids him as he might get sick playing in the rain. He argues with his mother until she relents. He promises to come back soon. He goes out happy. His mother keeps worrying.

A boy looks out the window,
He has woken up early. He is getting ready to go on a trek with his friends to enjoy the monsoons. His mother packs him some sandwiches for the day. He looks ahead to an exciting day. His mother wishes him to enjoy his day, but also to be safe.

A boy looks out the window,
It's a beautiful rainy day. A perfect time to go out with his girlfriend. To have a nice stroll by the sea, enoying the cool breeze and the splash of the sea water invigorating the senses. He dreams of the future.

A boy looks out the window,
It's raining! Damn! He is going to get drenched for his interview.

A boy looks out the window,
He has come home late after work. The streets are flooded. His parents are happy to see him. He has a hot meal. His mother has prepared it. He feels grateful. He goes to sleep; exhausted.

A boy looks out the window,
The day has finally arrived. He is getting married today. It's raining. A monsoon wedding! Lot's of last minute changes due to the rains. He worries a bit. He looks forward to the day. He looks forward to his life.

A man looks out the window,
He looks in to the future.......................................



Ek ladki ko dekha to.....(When I saw her.....) (Quand je l'ai vue.......)

This song by the legend R.D. Burman has been at the top of my List of Favourites ever since it was released in 1994 in the movie, 1942: A Love Story. Sung by Kumar Sanu and written by Javed Akhtar, it is a song that transports me from the real into a world of wonderful dreams. The melody and the lyrics combine to create a piece of music, that for me shall always remain evergreen and one of the most romatic songs ever created.

 

 

Though not a professional translator, I shall try to translate it in English and in French, with my limited translation abilities:

Hindi:

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha To Aisa Laga

Jaise Khilta Gulab

Jaise Shayar ka Khwab

Jaise Ujali Kiran

Jaise Bun Mein Hiran

Jaise Chandani Raat

Jaise Narmi Ki Baat

Jaise Mandir Mein Ho

Ek Jalta Diya...

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga

Jaise Subhon Ka Roop

Jaise Sardi Ki Dhoop

Jaise Beena Ki Taan

Jaise Rangon Ki Jaan

Jaise Balkhaye Bel

Jaise Lehron Ka Khel

Jaise Khushboo Liye

Aaye Thandi Hawa....

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga

Jaise Nachata Mor

Jaise Raesham Ki Dor

Jaise Pariyon Ka Raag

Jaise Sandal Ki Aag

Jaise Solah Shringar

Jaise Ras Ki Puhaar

Jaise Aahista Aahista

Badhta Nasha

Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga...


English:

When I saw her, she looked like (I felt like).......

A blossoming rose....

A poet's dream....

A brilliant ray of sunlight....

A deer in the forest...

A moonlit night....

A candle burning in the temple....

A tender word....

When I saw her, she looked like (I felt like).......

A beautiful morning....

The warm sunlight in winter....

The sweet sound of the Veena....(Veena: an Indian string instrument)

The essence of all colour....

A swirling vine....

The play of the waves....

A frangrant cool breeze....

When I saw her, she looked like (I felt like).......

A dancing peacock....

A silken thread....

The melodious song of the fairies....

The flame of the burning sandalwood....

The sixteen ornaments of beauty....

A refreshing mist....

A gently developing feeling of intoxication....

When I saw her, she looked like (I felt like).......

Français:

Quand je l'ai vue, elle avait l'air (je me suis senti qu'elle avait l'air).....
d'une rose s'épanouissant....
d'un rêve de poète.....
d'un rayon radiant de soleil....
d'une biche dans la forêt....
d'une nuit de pleine lune....
d'une bougie allumé au temple....
d'un mot tendre....
Quand je l'ai vue, elle avait l'air (je me suis senti qu'elle avait l'air).....
d'un beau matin....
de la chaleur de soleil en hiver....
du doux son du Veena....(Veena: un instrument musical d'Inde)
de l'essence des couleurs....
d'une vigne tourbillonant....
du jeu des vagues....
d'une brise parfumée....
Quand je l'ai vue, elle avait l'air (je me suis senti qu'elle avait l'air).....
d'un paon dansant....
d'un fil de soie....
d'un chant mélodieux venant des fées...
du feu du bois de santal.....
des seize ornements de beauté....
d'une brume rafraîchissante....
d'une sensation d'ivresse, développant doucement....
Quand je l'ai vue, elle avait l'air (je me suis senti qu'elle avait l'air).....
 

I hope I have been able to give justice to the lyrics. Unfortunately, there are some phrases which do not sound as beautiful as they sound in Hindi and the meaning is lost in translation. If anyone has any suggestions for improvement, please leave a comment.

It is a beautiful song and it becomes even more beautiful when there is a face that you are reminded of when you listen to it. That feeling is unsurpassable by anything else.

I hope you enjoy the song as much as I do.....

 

Unexpected Happiness

A couple of days ago, I was having a normal day. Nothing exciting or special about it. In fact, I was quite tired and bored. But, a sudden coincidence changed my boring day to a very happy day. I had not planned it and neither was I thinking about it. It just happened.

There are times when we plan our day and nothing goes right and suddenly something happens that changes everything. It was certainly a plesant and a most welcome surprise. It wasn't even too great an event but it did definitely boost my mood.

I have seen this happen many times now to ignore it. When I plan, sometimes things work out and sometimes they don't. And when I don't plan, most of the times things that happen are really nice and make me happy. I don't know what to make of this. Wisdom says that you plan everything, whereas reality gives almost contradictory results.

I can't really stop planning but I think I shall also acquiese to not having a plan all the time. I shall keep looking forward to such moments of unexpected happiness. These moments that make you believe in destiny and fate and, at the same time doubt it. These moments make you very philosophical, even though the moment in itself has no real effect on your life. These moments put you under a completely perplexed state of euphoria, followed by doubt and fear. These moments make you feel happy about yourself and yet, kind of upset. It's weird that one can feel so many contradictory emotions in a span of a few minutes, and yet I did.

 

Though not all such moments result in such a confusing state of elation, I shall treasure these weird moments, although confusing and keep looking forward to moments of unexpected happiness.

 

I have heard it somewhere,"If you plan for something and it happens. You will be happy. If you plan for something and it doesn't happen, then you should be even happier. Why? Because, perhaps God has something better planned for you." I guess, I take a corollary of this say that these unexpected moments of happiness are God's special way of making you happy. And, for some reason, when you believe that there is a higher power at work to make you happy, you feel really good about life.

The Jigsaw Puzzle

I have been shaped by the experiences in my life. The events in my life have shaped me to be who I am today. I don't know any more who I was originally. But I guess, even that wasn't too original.

 

At every stage my life, the circumstances around me have moulded me. They have forced me to adapt. Adaptation is crucial for survival. However, in this process, I did lose some good traits of my personality, improved upon some, gained some new ones and eliminated some bad ones. I don't complain because if I start to complain, I cannot choose to complain about only a part of the events that have altered my personality. The same events had both, positive and negative ramifications.

 

The 'life before' exists, ignorant of the future and the 'life after' exists, at most times wiser due to the past. The life before exists, at times sadder than the future and the life after exists, happier due to the past. The life before can also exist happier than the future and the life after can exist sadder than the past.

 

The words 'before' and 'after' that I use denote a life before and after a point in time. Since time is endless, this point in time could be as minute as a second or as large as a year or more. It really depends on one's perspective and even what passes during that point in time.

 

I believe that any event changes your life and can possible even alter your personality. A happy event makes the life after happier and a sad event will make the life after even sadder. In both instances, you pick up the pieces and move on. Mostly, this phrase is used when something negative has occurred and you need to move on with whatever is left with you. But, what if these pieces refer to a jigsaw puzzle?

 

You might have lost some pieces of the puzzle due to a sad event or you might have found some pieces to complete that puzzle. The goal is to complete that puzzle! If you know what the end picture looks like, then you know what you need to complete it. Sometimes though, you don't know what you have lost nor do you know what the end picture looks like.

 

At times, only when you find some pieces do you realise what the end picture should look like and unfortunately, at times when you lose some pieces forever, you will have to change the end picture istself.

 

What I find most remarkable in this, is the human capacity to persevere. Happiness makes perseverence easier while sadness will make it more difficult. But, what is important is to persevere.

 

I think the secret to perseverence lies in 'perspective'. Perspective is what will help you in seeing the end picture and help you complete it. Whether you are able to complete it or not, will perhaps be decided by God but even if you get close enough to see it materialising, I think it would be definitely worth it.

Life = Something Going On

Is life a continuum?

 

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines it as "a coherent whole characterized as a collection, sequence, or progression of values or elements varying by minute degrees".

 

For me, the crucial part of the definition is the last part - varying by minute degrees. When I think about my life as a continuum, I find it difficult to fit it into this definition. My life has not changed by minute degrees. On the contrary, there have been some quite extreme changes. And, though I say, my life, I find similar instances in the lives of some people I know. Perhaps, it happens in everybody's life.

 

Then why, one might ask, am I thinking about continnum in life. The reason is that I had always thought about life as a continuum, or rather, in continuity. Now, as it turns out, it was even more foolish of me to think about life to be in continuity. The subtle difference in the two terms is that, continuum allows for some variation, whereas continuity does not. However, the closest I could come to a word that would bring some semblance to 'life' as something that has a begining and an end with some changes in it, was 'continuum'.

 

Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines continuity as "a: uninterrupted connection, succession, or union; and, b: uninterrupted duration or continuation especially without essential change".

 

Comparing continuum and continuity, I feel more comfortable with the prior than the latter, though still not satisfied with the word. As I understand it, everything that has a begining and an end, is a process and that process involves certain steps. I am sure that people who study spirituality could possibly have a better definition. I am sure that the people who study physics or engineering or any kind of science could give a better definition for what a process is. But for me, as a layman, I consider a process as something that has a begining and an end, and betwixt I have to go through some steps.

 

But, life hasn't given me till now any sense of ontinuity, continuum or process. However, to be a little bit more comfortable with some word that allows me to define 'life', I choose - process. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines process, simply as 'something going on'. Although it scares me to apply this definition to life, it however allows me to at least be a little bit satisfied with what I can call 'life'. Something going on, is not something that inspires confidence in me and nor does it tell me anything. However, my curiosity to define life lessens a tad bit.

 

The most common definition of life that I have heard of till now is that 'life is a journey'. I think that, that is one of the most naive definitions. That time is in the past, when going on a journey meant literally going out into the unknown. Now, even if you need to go to the next town, you get there using a GPS. And, GPS systems are now even available on mobile phones. So, the unknown will only exist in your journey if you go into the moutains or the deserts or the jungles into areas where human habitation is uncommon. So, I think that the definition of 'journey' itself has probably changed. The dictionary I keep referring to, says that journey is an act or instance of travelling from one place to another. The destination is known in a journey, whereas in life, it is not; unless you consider death as your destination. If that is so, then I don't think this blog post is for you.

 

A journey involves travel and travel involves plans. I would really like to meet someone whose life turned out exactly as he or she had planned it (granted they should have had some plans first). In my experience, insignificant as it may perhaps be, nothing goes as planned. Something does go on, and that is - life.

 

So to conclude, a certain degree of acceptance of the definition of life as a process, helps me to accept the sudden changes that happen in life. Since I accept that life is 'something going on', then I also accept that anything can, essentially 'go on'.

 

 

Nissa Bella

 



Nice. It has been my life for a year now. It definitely does not feel like it and it feels like the year has gone by too quickly for me to even notice it. I arrived in Nice, on the French Riviera or the Côte d'Azur as the French call it, on September 2nd, 2011 to start an Msc in Finance in EDHEC Business School. I was excited and yet, clueless!

This was going to be my first foray into the world of Finance. I had studied finance before but I had barely even scraped the basics. It was more of Accounting than actual finance. I had no idea what was in store for me. It has been a year of confusion, moments of brilliance and moments of complete ignorance, making me feel like a Kindergarten student. There were times when I could recognize that there were letters from the English Alphabet in front of me with words I knew the meaning of and also numbers, written in the English style, but it seemed like a completely different language when these words, of which I knew the meaning, made no sense when they were put in that order. There were also times, when I encountered words that I had never heard before (perhaps for good reason) and symbols that represent prehistoric art, rather than mathematical symbols. I am sure that the mathematicans and statisticians, if ever they land on this blog post, would roll their eyes in disbelief; but some times, I have realised, that these ultra-smart people don't really recognize that there exists a world that is completely oblivious to this field and in fact, does not care about it.

I must be honest! I arrived at EDHEC, quite unprepared.  That is very relative and I have had numerous and lengthy discussions with my classmates on how EDHEC had not provided us with the adequate information. The course was intended for people with 'no or little background in finance' (as their website still says). Unfortunately, their interpretation of 'no or little' is highly contestable. EDHEC believed that the statement means, that you should already know about linear Regressions, so you could proceed easily towards Multiple Regression and then go on to understand Heterskedasticity and Homoskedasticity and then finally, the ARCH and GARCH Model. Although I do say finally, it was not finally. It expected people to learn programming in less than 18 hours!

Well, all said and done, I did manage to learn a lot. I was going through a sentence yesterday and I was surprised that at the start of the year, I had not understood it and now I did. I will give it here: "Assumptions of the methods do not coincide with the nature of your research problem - For example, you make a claim about mean-reversion of stock returns and your methodology assumes a geometric Brownian motion."

Although EDHEC was the reason for me to be in Nice, it fulfilled almost a 10-year long desire to learn and improve my French. I had started learning French back in India, but coming to France and improving it here has been simply the best way possible. I had seen a documentary on a travel show a few years back about the French Riviera, and I had thought at that time - "I want to go and live there for some time". When I started skiing not too long ago, I had dreamed of skiing in the Alps and last Winter, not only did I ski in the French Alps, but I also went to Chamonix Ski Resort, where Mont Blanc is located. My first weekend in France, I went to Monte Carlo and experienced one of the most glamorous nights ever. It has been a fabulous year, socially. I have travelled over the last year to Paris, Monte Carlo, Barcelona, Geneva, Mont Blanc, Antibes, Cannes, St.Paul de Vence, Eze, Villefranche-sur-mer, Rome, Pisa, Florence and Prague. That list just boggles me.

I have met people in EDHEC from so many countries that it is even difficult to count any more. And, each one as amazing as the previous. The almost intoxicating mix of cultures has been the highlight of my stay in France. I have made friends from so many countries! It feels amazing!

Currently, I am doing an internship at the JW Marriott hotel in Cannes, and although it's not the best and I continue my search for something better, I am working in CANNES!!! Right by the beach!!! 

France has been great to me. And, words fail me to thank this country. The people are extremely nice and very hospitable. The food is great. I have some excellent French friends. Very few French people know how to speak English, but when they see that a non-French is making an effort to speak French, they try to help you and are very much impressed by you. However, some times it has been quite funny that I speak to someone in French and that other person speaks to me in English. I love the French culture. I love it because they are proud of their own language and their own culture and do not feel the need to emulate others. That is what I feel for Maharashtra, my state in India and my mother tongue Marathi. I can understand their thought process because although it's a different country and a different language, the feeling of pride is the same.

 

 



 

It is next to impossible to express your gratitude when there are so many things to be grateful about. How do I say thank you? How do I measure my experiences over the last year? How do I measure my learning? I have been so enriched over the last year that it is humbling.

However, the biggest question of all is;

Where do I go from here?

Dream Dilemma

To dream or not to dream is never the question!

To go after it or not? That is the question!

Being an optimist, I shall always say that one should always go after one's dreams and try to fulfill them. There is no greater joy than having one's dreams fulfilled. Whereas, on the other hand, there is no greater disappointment like having one's dreams shattered. How do you weigh these outcomes?

Recently, I have come across a situation where, although, not exactly a dream yet (let's call it a dream in the offing), I have been facing a dilemma. To act on my dreams is to either see my dreams be fulfilled or see them shatter. I am not a stranger to either. But, what really amused me was this thought that came to my mind. It has come to me before as well; several times. This was just the time that I actually analysed this particular thought.

Do I keep on enjoying the dream of my dream getting fulfilled or do I act upon it to see the result? What is worse? Not doing anything right now and when the dream disappears, console myself by saying that it was never meant to be as it was just a dream or, acting upon it to find out what actually happens? There is happiness and disappointment in both.

Probabilistically speaking, if I was living in an ideal world, there is a 50% chance that I would see my dream fulfilled and 50% chance that I would not. But, this is not an ideal world, and sometimes the gut tells you that the odds are not in your favour. On the contrary, dreaming the dream gives me, let's say, a 90% probability of being in a state of pesudo-happiness. I took away the 10% for the longing I would feel for not doing anything.

There are people, I assume who would opt for the 90%, but there are people like me who would take the chance that the dream gets fulfilled; whatever the odds may be! For me, the rewards are immense - happiness. Happiness is elusive to all. There should be no opportunity lost to earn some. Mind you, it is earned! Sorrow is a part of life, like happiness, but irritatingly enough, one that shows its ugly face frequently. Sorrow has to be survived and happiness cherished.

How do I, personally, solve this dilemma? Always act upon my dreams! Does the dilemma go away? NO!