Humility

Life takes no respite from ensuring that you stay humble. Whatever your ego or self-esteem might be, it is crushed out of you to make you realize that you are nothing in this world. 

One might argue that self-esteem is good and I shouldn't talk about it along side ego. Now, it is good, but there are times when even that does not remain with you. It's not that you consider yourself worthless, it's not even about confidence. You become self-aware and extremely conscious of the circumstances.

There are times when you need to give a boost to your own self and dream and motivate yourself. But, unfortunately, even that is not possible some times. You have to be humble even in that. Even a morale-booster can become too much and then life turns around and says, 'No, you are not humble enough!'

The way you have lived your whole life is no longer acceptable and humble enough, even though you have lived within your means and have not boasted about it or abused it. Life tells you, 'No, you need to be humble. Change your life!'

Your casual, everyday expectations, are no longer humble. And, you might as well forget about some extra-ordinary or out-of-the-ordinary things happening in your life. If they do, it's a miracle. But, you can't even enjoy them properly because by that time, you have been so used to being humble that you even fear showing happiness lest it be taken away from you for not being humble enough in expressing it. 

Humility - never forget about it!

Jaane Kahaan Gaye Woh Din.......

This is not a 'sometimes I think about...' thing...but I think a lot about the days that have gone by. Especially, the years from 2002-2005. I think they were the best in my life so far. I don't think I have ever had fewer problems later, than I had during those years. But, that's not the only reason they were great. 

The people I was with during those times made them great. But now, as time goes by, the people are not close by anymore most of them, fortunately, just due to the physical distance. Some, I am still best friends with, and some have drifted away and I have drifted away from some. I can, though, say with a clear conscience that I have drifted away from hardly anyone. I walk away when I sense that my part in that person's life-story is over. 

I think back to those days, when I was full of hope and ambitions and dreams. It was a wonderful time. Now, I feel I don't even have the freedom to dream. All I have left with myself are the goals that I need to achieve to move on to the next step, whatever that might be. It's not that I don't dream anymore, but the dreams have changed a lot. My dreams are now, unfortunately, quite 'realistic'. And, that effectively defeats the whole purpose of a dream. Is it good or is it bad? Is it a sign that I have grown-up or is it a sign that I have succumbed to the pressure of life? I don't know. I would hope that this is just a passing phase. But what if it is not? Do I then surrender to the fact that my life does not have the charm for me as it used to? Yes, there is a different charm to it now, but I do also long for that innocent charm that I used to enjoy. 

Gone are the days, when having drinks with friends meant having two shots at the most of whatever we were drinking and that was an achievement. Gone is the time when I had my first puff of a cigarette and was scared that I had actually smoked a cigarette (even though it was just one puff). Gone is the time when hanging out late with friends was once in a while thing and it used to be very exciting. Gone is the time, when marriage was a thought of something that was far into the future. Now, in fact, a few of my friends/acquaintances are already married - people my age! 

I think back to the time when I participated in a play with my friends in Khalsa Junior College - 'Kabhi Bhada, Kabhi Raada'. I can never forget the great times I had rehearsing for that. I can't forget the time when we went to my farmhouse and my friend, who was in an extreme hurry to get back home forgot his wallet and we had to go back to get it. Of course, the caretaker had left by that time and we had to jump over the barbed-wired fence. I can not as well forget the New Year's Eve celebrated in my flat in Borivali, which was probably one of the best New Year's Eves I have had so far.  

Of course I can never forget my first year of BMS where I met some of the best people I will ever meet. The projects and the lectures, all very new and exciting. Very different people and the challenges of getting used to them and them getting used to me, which is not very easy at all. The trip that year to my farmhouse with almost 40 of my BMS classmates was again an unforgettable experience. The year also held for me the joy of being in my first ever relationship with a wonderful girl and then also, the pain of it ending. A Goa trip that I made with just another friend during BMS, because two others dropped out, was again very memorable. 

This all seems so much into the distant past now, that it feels like it never happened. But, I do long for those days again. If I could ever relive some part of my life, it would be those 2-3 years. They were the start of my life as it is today. I would also want to have the memory of the last time I had lived through those years and try to enjoy even more the happy times and rectify some mistakes, which I am glad were not too many. 

But, I do wonder how time passes by so quickly. Soon, it will be a few years that I have written this post and I will probably think about the happy times I am going through now. Would it be too arrogant to change a cliched saying? I don't know, but perhaps 'The grass is always greener during a time in our life that has passed by'.

¡Hola! Barcelona

What I did expect to hear in Barcelona, Spain was - ¡Hola!; but what I did not expect to hear in an extremely bad out-of-tune voice was a Sunny Deol song - Yaara O Yaara being sung by an Indian (most probably), hawking an umbrella on a rainy day in front of the Cathedral in the Gothic Quarter.


Having returned last night from a 3-day trip to Barcelona, I was still a bit in the vacation mood when the harsh reality of my classes struck me in my afternoon class today. So, before I completely lose that feeling, I felt I should pen down a little bit of the experience. 

What pleasantly surprised me about Barcelona is that unlike France, many people speak English and do not hate it. Whereas, in France, I have hardly seen even the business owners/employees in the main tourist areas speaking English, which is very surprising considering the fact that Nice is one of the most visited tourist destinations in the world. Now, in Barcelona, one might think that being the second largest city in Spain, they mainly speak Spanish; but one would be mistaken. The main language in Barcelona is Catalan followed by Castellano (Spanish) and no, they do not call it Espanol in Catalan. 

The most famous street in Barcelona is 'La Ramblas' and it was highly recommended by everybody and everywhere I searched, but unfortunately, I didn't really find it interesting at all. My recommendation, - avoid it if you can. There are much better places to visit in Barcelona. The street is filled with tourists, and there are some street artists/performers and a few vendors but that's about it. Nothing that got me really excited. Even most of the restaurants are on the expensive side, although I did have my first lunch in Barcelona on 'La Ramblas' in a restaurant called Choquito and it was one of the best meals I have ever had - Paella and Tapas. (For those who don't know, Paella is a rice dish and it is usefully made with seafood; and Tapas are small portions of appetizers, so you order 2-3 to make a meal) Out of my 5 meals in Barcelona, for 4, I just had Tapas and Sangria. The one meal that I did not have Tapas, I dined in an excellent tiny place called 'El Xiringo' on Carrer de Sant Carles near Placa del Mar. The place is owned by the Chef and if you ever end up there, please go with his recommendation. Also, I fell in love with the Spanish sausages called 'Choricitos' or 'Xoricitos' or 'Chorizos'; a little bit salty but excellent!!!

There are two famous personalities from Barcelona - Pablo Ruiz Picasso and Antonio Gaudi. There would be hardly anyone who has never heard of Picasso but I hadn't heard about Gaudi. Antonio Gaudi was an architect in the 19th century in Barcelona. He was the brain behind 'La Sagrada Familia', a church of gigantic proportions whose construction began in 1882 and is expected to be completed some time in the late 2020's. The church is being built completely from donations made by visitors and is not being funded by the Government or a private body or institution. One must visit it to fully comprehend the beauty of this structure. The architecture blows your mind away. I spent an hour there just walking around and I didn't feel like leaving. The majesty is captivating. 

Another creation by Gaudi is the Park Guell, within which Gaudi resided in a beautiful house (now a museum) from 1906-1926. Park Guell is a botanical garden and is a UNESCO World Heritage Site like 'La Sagrada Familia'. The genius of Gaudi was simply mind-blowing. I visited a building he had designed called Casa Batlo and again, the architecture enthralls you. Unfortunately, I couldn't go in because the entrance fee was too expensive. 

There are several architectural marvels in Barcelona and one must try to visit as many as one can. The 'Palau de la Musica Catalana' is another example as well as 'La Pedrera'. The Barcelona Cathedral in the Gothic Quarter is another beautiful place to visit. The architecture - intricate and beautiful! One attraction that I did not expect would be so great was the 'Magic Fountain', which is a sound and light water fountain show. Although I have seen similar shows before, this is definitely worth a mention. If you do ever get a chance to watch it, I am sure you won't be disappointed. 

I took a two-hour walking photography course conducted by a British guy called Ben Evans, It was a really nice informative course and given that I was the only one in that time-slot, I lucked out. During the course , we stopped at a small cafe off 'La Ramblas' called 'Elisabets' for a coffee and some Q&A. It was an extremely good cup of coffee. First, I thought I liked it more because for the last two months I have been drinking really bad coffee from the vending machines in my school and the instant coffee I make at home, but then I tried another cup from a cafe right across and it was fabulous. I didn't realise I would get such good coffee in Spain. After reading up on it later on, I found out that coffee is an integral part of the Spanish culture. 

On 'La Ramblas' there is a fruit/vegetable/fish/meat market. I would say it is worth a visit perhaps just for a few minutes. The quality and variety of goods is excellent and the vendors very artistically arrange the fruits and vegetables in a beautiful manner in their shops. The market looks really beautiful and of course, if you want to purchase anything....

On the last day of my visit, I visited the Picasso Museum - the only one in the world. Now, I must admit, I am not really an art connoisseur. However, even in my ignorance I was able to appreciate his skill. There are two paintings on display at the museum - 'Old Man' and 'Old Man in a Beret', which he painted at the age of 14. They are incredible and it is difficult to imagine a 14-year old to be able to paint with such great skill. 

If you are a football (soccer) fan, you won't be disappointed either. The Barcelona team is considered to be the best in the world and my friends who visited their stadium - 'Camp Nou' were extremely pleased with their visit. 

The one thing that did spoil the experience for me a bit was the fear of pickpockets. I was roaming around without my wallet and just carrying loose money in my pockets. I had my camera in my backpack but was also worried that if I am not careful, someone might open it and take away the camera; an instance I read on a forum had happened to somebody and for others there were similar experiences. I wish the law enforcement is stricter in this regard. However, I am glad that nothing of this sort happened and I survived Barcelona without any theft or any pickpocketing. 

All in all, I had a really enjoyable experience in Barcelona. Many people had also told me that Barcelona is a party-town but I didn't really see the craziness that people had described to me and online. The only thing that was different there was that, many clubs stay open till 6 o' clock in the morning. Perhaps, it is different during the summer...

If you want to take a look at some of the photos, just click on the album below - 

Barcelona 2011

Apart from all the great experiences I had, I did come off wiser as well. One thing that I learnt is to never drink 'Sangria' for lunch on an empty stomach, especially when you are really,really tired ............Well, on second, thought, you might even want to have that experience.............

Gracias!!!

Tough Times Never Last, But Tough People Do......

I have tried to keep in mind this saying for as long as I can remember now...probably since I was 13-14 years old when I didn't even thoroughly understand its meaning. I think I do understand it to some extent now. I think I understand a different aspect of it as well. 

I don't think it just means that you will be successful if you are tough in one situation or one period of your life. I think it also means that once you go through one situation, you are better equipped - mentally and emotionally, to keep going and face whatever challenges come next. 

I have complained in the not so very distant past about how my life was progressing. I was not too wrong in doing so, I think. Now, it seems like I have an opportunity to form a new path for myself. Even though I think it was tough before, it is even tougher now. However, now it is not as daunting as it might have been before. Now, it feels like a challenge, a challenge to my very being. Facing the challenge comes naturally now, with less of the worries of the 'ifs' and the 'buts' and the 'whethers' but more of 'How can I?' and 'What can I?' and 'When can I?'. There is a method now. There is a plan and there are actions.

It feels satisfying to be in such a situation right now.

A great saying by a great man, that has given me a lot to think about -

"If you are going through hell, keep going

- Sir Winston Churchill".

The Apple of my 'i'

There was a time when I always wondered what a 'Macintosh' was. I knew from reading British books that a 'Macintosh' is a raincoat but since I was never really a computer whiz when I was a kid, I never really even explored. My use of the computer was just restricted to playing games and my brother was the one who would look in to the maintenance or the upgrades. Not surprisingly, I didn't even know what an operating system was. 

A decade ago, I saw the first i-Pod in my life. I didn't listen to a lot of music at that time, so it didn't excite me too much. I started listening to a lot of music a year later and a few years ago, I bought my first i-Pod and it has become an indispensable part of my life. I can't imagine doing any form of travelling without my i-Pod. I can't imagine going to a gym or exercising without my i-Pod. It is everything I ever wanted in a music player. Portability, ease of use, great storage, great sound and great battery life! My needs were fulfilled completely. 

Although I would have loved to buy every single model of the i-Phone, I could never afford it, so I never bought it. And still, years after its launch, the i-Phone still eludes me. But, this is more so my fault. I can't go back to a older version when there is a new version out. 

My father is one of the typical technologically challenged fathers in the world and he got his first i-Phone a couple of months ago, after my brother and I forced him to change his cellphone. Today, he is in love with his phone. He just loves the user-friendliness and capabilities which he is able to use, without wanting to break his phone or throw it out the window in frustration. 

It is a sad day today. Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple computers has passed away. I salute that man and his genius that made all the i and the Mac products possible. More than the name of the company, it's the i and the Mac that are well-known. Many industry leaders and business tycoons have passed away, but till now, for none has the entire world displayed so much emotion & sorrow. Steve Jobs changed the way people used computers and simple products like a portable music player. Sony had invented the 'Walkman' and Steve Jobs had the ability to convert that great idea into another amazing one. 

He turned a small animation studio that he bought from George Lucas into PIXAR, which became a legend; giving us movies like Toy Story and Finding Nemo. 

He has revolutionized the world of computing and he has gone on to a better place where he will probably revolutionize many other things. 

There are few people in an era who capture the attention of the entire world and leave behind a legacy that goes on forever. Steve Jobs was one of those.

I pray that the legacy of Steve Jobs continues and becomes more and more glorious over the years. 

Cheers to the power of 'i'.

R.I.P. Steve Jobs

Le Premier Mois En France

It has been exactly a month today that I arrived in this beautiful city of Nice in the French Riviera. It has been a decent month and fortunately, there have not been any major problems till now. I hope it remains the same for the rest of my stay here. 

Several years ago, I had watched a documentary on 'The French Riviera' and I had decided then, that at some point in my life I would visit this beautiful place. Then a few years ago, I started skiing and then I decided that at some point in my life, I would ski in the Alps. And now, here I am, living in the French Riviera and at the most an hour and a half away from an Alpine Ski Resort. Also, I have always wanted to learn French and never got the opportunity to do so until last year and what could be a better way to improve my French than living in France? I am happy with the way things have turned out. Excellent!

I had heard of several stereotypes about the French people and some of them are true and some of them are not completely untrue. The service in the restaurants for example, is surprisingly non-existent. Everything goes at an extremely slow pace here. I don't know if it is only in the Riviera or if that is the case all over the country. It has been over three weeks that I have opened my bank account and I still haven't received my debit card or my cheque book. 

Another common stereotype is that the French don't speak English. That is not completely true. I have had people try to speak to me in English sensing that I don't know French. Funnily enough, a couple times, the other person was speaking to me in English as he thought that I didn't know French and I was speaking in French because I wanted to get into the habit of using the language. 

I am happy that the school I have chosen is good and the student body is very good as well. I was apprehensive about how it would be, but I have no apprehensions now; at least not about the school. It's just that it seems like whenever I graduate with a Masters degree, the world economy is on its way into the dumps. In 2008, I graduated with my MBA and the economy was horrible. Now, when I will graduate in 2012, the economy will probably be horrible again. So, I am just hoping against hope that there will be a job for me before I graduate.

One thing though that really irritates me about Nice is that almost everything is closed on Sundays. I am really not able to grasp how almost 90% of a city can remain closed on a Sunday. Even today, I went to a grocery store which was about half hour away because I had to buy something I could only buy there and guess what? It was closed! 

The city though makes up for it by offering an amazing promenade by the coast and the blue azure waters. Although, the beach is only a beach because it is by the sea, but to me, a beach needs to have sand on it and not pebbles, like it does here. Going for a jog on the Promenade des Anglais is a real pleasure. One has to actually do it to understand how delightful it is. 

The first month has been a myriad of experiences. Most of them extremely pleasant. I have been fortunate enough to meet some very nice people from different nationalities and make friends with them. The course is challenging and I am liking it.

I pray that the rest of my stay in France, however long it might be, be like this first month. And, when I leave France for whichever location that might be, I only leave with extremely fond memories. (I do wish though that if I leave France, it would be because I have an amazing job somewhere)

Ciao et Bonne Journee. 

Extreme Over-Reaction

So, this is about my extreme over-reaction yesterday. I don’t think I have had one of those recently. It was quite surprising at first; well, I guess it was just surprising in retrospect when I realised that I was in fact, over-reacting.

But, to be honest, I was really very upset. And, for the people who know me, I am usually a rational person and only react extremely when I have been pushed to my limits. Now, this is not just an extreme reaction but an extreme over-reaction. You may ask, why? Well, I was watching a TV series and I got upset by the storyline. The show is called ‘The Big Bang Theory’.

A guy falls in love with a girl who is very beautiful and they have a lovely relationship going on and then they break up. The guy is a complete nerd and the girl is someone, about whom many guys would undoubtedly fantasize about. Individual preferences might differ, but I do speak for myself when I say that I would definitely be happy to be in a relationship with someone like her. The reason of the break-up? The guy tells her that he loves her and she doesn’t know what to say. She’s confused. They both are not in the same place in the relationship. It’s quite normal and ordinary and typical. The situation could easily be reversed, I am sure. But, what I know of the guys that I am friends with; there are negligible chances of a guy saying that he is not sure about his feelings, especially when the relationship has been going for a few months. (Please discount the creeps, weirdos, desperate men/women and psychopaths) I was faced with a situation a few months ago where I was not sure about my feelings for a girl but I was confident enough to accept that and when I told her about my feelings, I didn’t mind a lot that she didn’t have any feelings for me. I am not being brave here; I am not saying that it didn’t hurt a bit but I was not completely sure of my own feelings. If I was, I might have probably tried a different approach. Of course, it did light up my face when I received a ‘Goodbye’ sms from her, the night I left for France.

Coming back to the point: I am really upset. I like the show and most of these shows; I watch them, not because of their reality, but to indulge in escapist entertainment. And I am very much upset that the show-writers had to show a break-up to spice up the show a bit. I only blame them because I am surprised that they couldn’t write anything else better to help move the show along. Why does it have to be a break-up? Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out already – I hate break-ups!!! I hate the very concept which is based on inept, childish, immature minds forming the body of people who break-up over minutely disturbing issues to extricate themselves from the prospect of actually attempting to solve them. “OH MY GOD!!! I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS!!!!” You do have to deal with this. Do you really think that just by referring to God, He/She will absolve you from resolving the so-called ‘deal’ that you have been dealt? And, the result? A few days or perhaps months of going through a pseudo-depression phase where the ‘hows’ and the ‘why’s of the break-up will be so chewed over till not even a cow will find them palatable to ruminate.

I am not saying that people don’t get out of unhealthy relationships. It is the healthy thing to do. I am just very much irritated by the complacency with which people get into and out of relationships.

If I come back to this TV series, a nerd in a happy relationship with a hot, beautiful girl is a dream for many. Although, if fulfilled the dream loses its lustre when the girl is only that – hot. Any possibility of any intelligence so to speak of is quite remote. What I mean is, when there is such a relationship with a guy, who is not exactly the most handsome man on the planet, whereas the girl, although not the most beautiful, is definitely quite attractive, it is an achievement for the guy. It stems from a low-esteem and lack of self-confidence. The girl probably doesn’t realise it but that is so. This is not to commoditise women but it is a boost to the self-confidence. Men have always had to win the hearts of women, which has been and will always be the way, and if the right one does agree to become his Queen, he will be happy to be the King of a small hut.

So, my over-reaction. I was extremely upset and angry. There was nothing wrong in the story-line and the girl didn’t dump the guy because he was a nerd. I was just upset to see that such a nice relationship stopped being. And, it stopped being for a very silly reason. It certainly is not appetising to know that you love someone with all your heart and the other one does not. So, I vowed to never watch the series again.

Anyway, I have gone on for too long, I need to get some episodes of ‘The Big Bang Theory’ in before I go to bed.

I could have easily passed off as James Bond

So, what are some of the things that can help you to be James Bond:

1. A License to Kill
2. Have quite a bit of money from unknown sources
3. Order a vodka martini – shaken and not stirred; and most importantly, not balk at the price; given that James Bond never goes to a cheap bar. I think they would just frown upon his Tux if he goes there.
4. Have one of the best cars in the world viz., Aston Martin, Jaguar, Ferrari, Rolls Royce, BMW, Bentley and even perhaps a Lamborghini.
5. Have a hot girl in your arms or the ability to find one in just a simple conversation.
6. Go to a casino in Monte Carlo.

I can safely say that I could have easily passed off as James Bond if I had all the above 6 things. For the moment, however, I think I will be content with just having gone to MONTE CARLO!!!

I went to Monte Carlo on September 3^rd, 2011 and it was an unbelievable experience. It’s not the casinos that blew me away. I have seen several casinos, a lot bigger and having a lot more games and activities than the ones in Monte Carlo. But, I have never, ever in my life seen such opulence and grandeur. I have never seen such a fantastic display of money with extreme class.

How do you react when you realize later on that an S-Class Mercedes drove by you or a BMW 7 –series and you don’t consider them to be worth even a look? How do you explain to yourself that an amazing Ferrari drives right by in front of where you are sitting and you think of actually taking a look at it later? Why? Just because you are looking at an amazing Lamborghini Murcielago!!! The experience can drive you crazy, so much so that the number of Bentleys and Rolls Royces parked around seem quite common.

There is a restaurant by Alain Ducasse at the Hotel de Paris at Monte Carlo, right next to the Casino de Monte Carlo. Now, he is one of the world’s best chefs. So, on seeing his name I thought I should definitely go and try it out, even if it meant just having a soup and a starter. I knew I couldn’t afford the entire meal. I would have eaten snails (escargot) if that was the only thing I could afford but, unfortunately, it turned out that I couldn’t even afford one soup there……every dish was priced at a minimum of 80 Euros only. This was the first time ever in my life that my eyes widened up so much. I am sure I must have looked like an Owl. Over the past few years, I have eaten at and heard about very expensive restaurants, but I had never heard about such prices. I quickly walked away not wanting to seem too out of place. I could go on about it but it has to be experience to be understood. Fortunately, I had many fellow beings trying to understand along with me, sitting on the railing of the garden right across the Casino de Monte Carlo – people and car watching!

And just so I can say I have done this, the driver of the tour bus actually drover over the starting grid of the Monte Carlo Formula 1 Grand Prix and accelerated a bit. Very exciting, I have to say!!! Except, that we were in a Nissan mini-bus. 

I will cross the bridge when I come to it!

Hasn't almost everyone used this phrase at least once in their lives? If not, I would be really surprised. 

It does definitely makes sense. It's no use worrying about something that will happen in the future and when you have no control over it. If you have no control over that future occurrence then, of course, you can hardly do anything about it. What you can do is to get yourself ready for the eventuality. 

It is crazy when people tell me that they don't want to worry about something in the future. I always thought that it is best to be prepared for any eventuality. Yes, you will only need to face the situation if it happens but what if it does and you are not prepared? Doesn't it make sense to be prepared?

To use the same phrase, what if the bridge is broken when you come it and you don't have just the tools necessary to fix it yourself? What if you already knew that you would need those tools to fix that broken bridge? 

Worrying about some event that might or might not happen does not do anyone any good. However, according to me, it is crucial that one is prepared for it and is ready to overcome those challenges as he comes to face them. At least, he is not taken by surprise!

It is 'Friendship Day' today!!! Yeah!!!

A VERY HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY TO ALL MY FRIENDS!!!

I have no idea how this stupid day started but it is probably one of the many 'Hallmark Days'. Even if it is not, I don't care. But, it seems like the United Nations on 27th April, 2011 recognized the first Sunday of every August to be 'International Friendship Day'. Fine. Whatever makes people happy!

I am not against this day as such but it just makes the word so cheap. Friendship for me is very different and the bond that I consider to be friendship is a bond of trust and understanding. With trust and understanding come the other nice things like, fun, enjoyment, compromises, fights, quarrels, etc. All, a part of friendship. 

I had hardly any or probably no friends when I was in school and most of the friends that I have today, I have made friends with them after my first year of Junior College. I have already started to receive messages from people wishing me a 'Happy Friendship Day' and I really appreciate the sentiment. Although we might not be the best of friends or we might even be just acquaintances but I am grateful to those people that they thought of wishing me; and more than anything else, thought of me for at least a few seconds. 

I am very aware of how difficult it is to maintain relations and it makes me happy that someone remembered me for those few seconds at least. I would like to thank all those who have wished me already and those who will wish me later on. 

But, I am not going to think that if someone doesn't wish me on this day, they are not my friends. There are some friendships where no official communication is required to convey one's feelings and emotions. They are felt and understood every time there is an interaction. 

I would like to take a very risky step here by listing a few people who have enriched my life as friends at some point or the other. Risky, because I might hurt someone's sentiments by not listing them. If I do, I am sorry. It is not because I do not consider you a friend but I wish to thank those who have gone out of their way and stood by me at some point or the other or have understood me for who I am. I might not be friends with some of them now or I have probably lost touch with them but I will never forget what I have gained earlier. 

In no particular order:

Aamir Ayubi

Ashish Kirtikar

Deep Vasudeo

Pranav Gore

Yateen Phatak

Suraj Shetty

Jugal Shah

Kunal Kalke

Manish Rijhwani

Khushal Lalwani

Sonil Dedhia

Neema Khandelwal

Tanuja Kelkar

Sukanya Sen

Maithili Palav

Anamika Bhide

Mugdha Deo

Chaitanya Khurjekar

Prasad Bhopale

Yvonne McAdow

Divyeshkumar Daruwala

Sandra Sigarodi

Amin Jiwani

Parag Warty

Prathamesh Naravane

THANK YOU ALL! I know a gesture of gratitude is never expected but in keeping with the spirit of 'Friendship Day', it only seems fit that I do express my gratitude. 

CHEERS!!!

The Child Inside Me

As I watched on to the soccer field today evening, with a cup of coffee in my hand, the rain pouring and the kids going crazy playing soccer or perhaps, I should say football, all I wanted to do was run out on to the field to play football with those kids in the rain and get drenched completely. I wanted to get soaked through to my bones.

I wanted to get the mud all over me, I wanted to fall and scratch and bruise myself and yet continue playing.I wanted to pant till I was completely out of breath and my sides ached till I could walk no more; and yet I wanted to keep running on. I wanted to experience the thrill of not caring about anything else except for that goal. I just wanted to feel alive. I was invigorated. I wanted to be a kid.

Those kids playing football reminded me of myself when I was a kid and used to play for hours and hours. Nothing seemed to bother me. Not the tiredness, not the bruises; nothing! I only used to play football during the monsoons and I wasn't even good at it but it was fun all the same.  The rest of the year was spent playing other sports and games which involved a lot of running around or cycling. It was fun.

Today was just one of those days that made me want to go crazy in the rain. If nothing else, I would have just ran in the rain and rolled in the mud and walked about with my arms stretched out looking up into the heavens and soaking in the rain. I wish I could have it done that day.

If you see me running around in the rain and rolling in the mud, don't worry, I have not turned into a pig! I am just really happy!!!

I don't think so!

I have been fortunate to be raised in a family where equality in all respects is valued. I was never told that men and women are different. As I grew older, I formed my own opinions regarding this issue. Over the years, I have understood that men and women are equally capable as well as equally incapable of doing things. Perhaps the level of capability will differ for each in a particular task but I, myself find no sex weaker than the other (non-physical strengthwise). However, it is a scientific fact that men are usually physically stronger than women; so some tasks are more easily performed by men than women, but mind you, that is no testament to the quality of work/product. 

I felt it necessary to put forth my views before I commenced with my topic for this post. This is an extremely sensitive issue. The world over, women are still fighting for their rights to an equal life in the professional environment. I will be specifically talking about this. 

The 'Glass Ceiling' effect, I was taught in my MBA is still quite a reality. Like in everything else, there are exceptions. I have seen and worked with very successful women and also very unsuccessful ones; the same as for men. If I look at the Boards or the Executive Committees of different companies in the US or Europe, I can many times see women and yet I was taught in my US university that the 'Glass Ceiling' effect exists. I might sound a bit disbelieving here but I am not. I am just a bit surprised. But, when I take a step back and think again, it does dawn on me that majority of the highly placed executives are males. Prof. Thomas Rossi at Johnson & Wales University, Providence, RI was my professor for a few courses during my MBA there. It was a pleasure learning from him. He had once told us that if we wanted to know how the top executives on Wall Street looked, we should take a look at him - white middle-aged Caucasians. Prof. Rossi didn't want to scare us but he wanted to make us understand the reality we would have to face when we go out into the world. I thank him for those classes. It is quite necessary not to be naive. 

Personally, I don't care what sex, age, colour, religion, race, ethnicity or whatever kind of differentiator one might ascribe to. For me, all it matters is, whether the job gets done. There are, unfortunately, very few who believe this. 

Recently, I was witness to a very sad occurrence. In my French classes, we had a lesson discussing a woman who had changed professions and had taken up a profession that has been traditionally performed by men. When the class was asked about some occupations and if they thought that those professions were traditionally performed by men, almost everybody agreed. Even more so, some even gave examples of other professions like that. I was the only one who did not find it appropriate. The way that the class had accepted the logic was unfortunate and saddening. It might surprise you to know that there were about 30-35 people in the room and I was the only male!

As I have mentioned before, I agree there are certain professions which are just easier for men than women just because of the primary necessity of physical strength. But in no way does it entail that there is a lack of effectiveness or efficiency anywhere. So, when the class full of girls were agreeing and discussing the topic, the ease with which they accepted the topic was very surprising for me. Not one made a comment saying how women are equally capable or objected to it. The objective of the lesson was to highlight the difficulties faced by women in securing jobs that have been traditionally done by men. Incidentally, although nobody felt it was correct that women be restricted from certain professions, but all the same, nobody talked about the theme of the lesson. 

Women are fighting for their rights and want an equal place in this world. There is not a doubt that they should get it. If I say, they deserve it, I would be demeaning women. When I use that word, it gives me some crooked authority as a man to decide if women deserve something or not. I just find that to be too disgusting a thought. 

My concern is, how will women achieve their objective if they readily accept such ideas? Will that equality be possible if women do not consider themselves to be equal? Especially in India?

I DON'T THINK SO!

The Helpless Mumbaikar

I feel so sad for the Mumbaikar today. Ever since I can remember I have had a car and have traveled in Mumbai primarily by my personal vehicle, may it be on my bike or in my car. My use of public transportation has been very limited. This has been more so because of the non-availability of easily accessible public transport where I live. I have used the BEST buses and the local trains whenever I felt that reaching a particular place in Mumbai would be easier that way. The public transport system is very good, but the sheer number of commuters availing these facilities makes them a chore rather than a convenience. If given an opportunity to chose between my personal vehicle and public transport, I would choose public transport because it is simply easier; but not so in Mumbai. Given the hassles that a commuter has to go through, sitting in traffic for hours in the comfort of the AC in my car and listening to music is preferable. One might notice; neither is convenient.  

Today, I experienced the difficulties of traveling by public transport more than ever. I had to reach a place that is about 4 km from where I live. I could not find a cab immediately so I kept on walking towards the nearest bus-stop which is usually pretty busy and has some taxis waiting. Also, I thought that while walking towards the bus-stop, I might be able to hail a taxi. I reached the bus-stop and yet was not able to find a taxi. Finally, a bus came along and I boarded it. Now, until I boarded the bus, I was not able to find a taxi for almost 20 minutes, which in Mumbai is pretty remarkable. The bus was extremely crowded, the stench of sweat was suffocating and there was hardly any place to stand. The bus ride took me about 15 minutes or so, which is what it usually takes. So, fortunately, I didn't have to endure that for long. 

This experience made me think of something which crosses everybody's mind at some point or the other. It is the trouble that a common man has to go through. I have led a privileged life compared to many and have not had to travel in such conditions a lot of times. But, there are lacs of people who have to endure this torture every single day. Perhaps they complain at some point but resign to the fact that they have no choice. They are perhaps of tired and disgusted of such a state of condition but find no solution or an alternative. Buying a car or a two-wheeler might be easy but to use it daily is not affordable for them. Thus, they have to make the best of what is available. 

Taxis and Rickshaws are perhaps more of an irritant than anything else. They consider themselves to be the Kings on the road and drive as they please with no regard to other cars or pedestrians. They say yes or no to a fare as they please. Although it is obligatory on their part to accept any fare by law, they don't care about commuters at all. I am young and pretty well-built, so at times I have forcibly asked the Taxi or the Rickshaw to take me where I want to go. Now, I am not doing anything wrong or illegal here. On the other hand, there are women, children and old people who are helpless. They cannot exert force like I can and are forced to swallow their pride and dignity and their troubles to wait on these Taxis and Rickshaws to say yes to their fare. It is so deplorable that it makes me seethe with anger. 

Mumbai is going to get a Metro and a Monorail system in the next few years. Hopefully, they will lighten the burden on the already super over-burdened public transport system. It is not a mystery why the current public transport system in Mumbai is insufficient. It is simply the population. The burden on the public infrastructure is such that it is impossible to keep up with such ever-increasing population. Migration and uncontrolled breeding are killing this 'City of Dreams'.

First, let me take up migration. Any developed and welcoming city in this world has seen migration from other parts of that country as well as from other countries. New York is an excellent example. Mumbai is many times compared to New York, which is quite laughable. Although population wise, the two cities are almost on par, New York does not have such problems. It faces similar issues like Mumbai but there is one major difference and that is the discipline and integrity. The US has not allowed illegal housing to come up. One wouldn't find street-dwellers or a slum cropping up on Park Avenue, whereas you will find that in plush areas of Mumbai like Cuffe Parade, Colaba, Pali Hill, etc. It is almost as if every citizen of this country feels that the Right to Movement also grants them the Right to Illegal Housing or a Right to Construct Slums wherever they please. And, the Government in power will never do anything about that because it will lose out on their precious votes. SHAMEFUL!!! What about those millions of people who have been living in this city for decades? Do they have no say? Do they deserve such horrible living conditions when they have spent their entire lives living in this city hoping for a better future for themselves and their kids? What about those who have grown up in this city, studied here and hoped to lead a nice life here? Will they be so condemned to their fate? They have enriched this city and made it what it is today. But, all that goes to waste when day after day, a new scandal is exposed. Real Estate in Mumbai being at such a premium, it is impossible for even a middle-class person to buy a small apartment. The concept of a house is non-existent in Mumbai. If it resembles a house, it is a mansion or a monstrosity like Anitlla. 

Now, the uncontrolled breeding. I use the word 'breeding' because it doesn't seem like most Indians understand that they are humans and not animals. Even animals breed  only during the mating season and the only animal that has sexual intercourse for pleasure apart from human beings is a pig. The idea that a boy is more desirable than a girl nauseates me. Even mothers prefer a boy, more than a girl. What kind of sick thinking is this? A woman who prefers that she never gives birth a girl!!! Unfortunately, this thinking persists even in many well-educated and financially well-off families who don't really have to worry about another pair of hands to aid their family. And today, even that is not an issue as girls are equally interested in pursuing a career like boys. Many Indians 'breed' until they have a boy in the family. DESPICABLE!!! There are others who simply don't care whether they will even be able to support a large family. They simply go on procreating like animals without the slightest thought. The Family Management Program by the Indian Government has been going for several years now. I don't know how far it has been successful but I hope it has had some effect. The recent census actually showed the male to female ratio in India is quite horrible. 

It is impossible to meet the demands of such a huge population in smaller towns and villages. Consequentially, everybody makes way for Mumbai. And, why not? If I was in a smaller town/village I might have done the same for better opportunities. But, here it does not remain as simple as that. It leads to slums, crime and dirtiness! Again, the Mumbaikar faces it all, not because he is brave and strong but that he is completely helpless. 

I have myself been to the US and worked there, my brother is in the US and is working there. Hopefully, in a few months, I will embark on another journey in another country and will hope for a better future there. It is quite natural. However, neither would the US have tolerated any illegal activity and nor will the other country. 

I pray to God that the 'City of Dream' does not metamorphose in to the 'City of Hell'

A song for those who love this city:

High on Romance

Cloudy, grey and gloomy, greenery everywhere and a pleasant coolness in the air. And, wet! 

Weird it is, this monsoon in Mumbai - the most romantic of all seasons. As it arrives, it leaves behind the scorching heat of the summer and brings in a refreshing change. It is exactly like a splash of cold water on your face after walking in the noon-day sun in a desert. You feel so refreshed. 

For me it is the most romantic time of the year, I feel refreshed and energized and invigorated. The mere memory of a monsoon in Mumbai makes me get all charged-up. Yes, it is not the most comfortable of times to travel in the city and the flooding does not really add to the romantic setting but somehow, these things get completely overlooked. I get to see so many smiling faces walking on the streets during these times. People who have ventured out to enjoy the rain with their loved ones. It's a phenomenon I have not heard of happen anywhere else. It's like a tradition to go and get wet in the rains. One feels lucky to have gotten wet in the first rains of the season. There are special hikes and treks organized during this time of the year especially to enjoy the rain. 

It's considered to be the ultimate enjoyment to have hot bhajiyyas/vada (fritters) and tea when it is raining. More so, if you are wet from the rain and cold and are able to enjoy this special treat. What makes it special is the fact that you are eating bhajiyas/vada and drinking tea in the rains with your friends or if it is a more romantic setting then with your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend. There can be nothing more romantic than that. 

Since the last couple of days, the monsoon clouds have made their presence felt although it has not really rained yet. It did drizzle for a few minutes last week and I was lucky enough to enjoy that. It felt so nice. I was just so excited even though, not even my head got wet. 

During those few months of the monsoon rains, I feel like I am on high on romance, like I have dosed myself with a 'love drug'. It is simply a very beautiful time of the year and I am glad that I will be in Mumbai this year to enjoy it. It would perhaps, surprise a few that wading through the flooded waters in Mumbai is also considered a romantic thing to do by some. 

When I go out of the city, the landscape is completely green and lush. Waterfalls and streams can be seen on the mountains of the Sahyadri. Rivers and streams are full and flowing with vigorous force. Even nature shows off itself and is playful at this time, trying to get rid off the dullness it has had to suffer during the summer months. 

A couple of lines by बालकवी  describing the month of Shravan that falls within these months of the monsoon -

श्रावण मासी हर्ष मानसी हिरवळ दाटे चोहिकडे,

क्षणात येते सरसर शिरवे, क्षणात फिरुनी उन पडे.

An extremely romantic song with the backdrop of the Mumbai monsoons - Rim Jhim Gire Sawan by Kishore Kumar:

The Lonely Traveler

The great Marathi poet Suresh Bhat has penned an extremely insightful poem - 

रंगुनी रंगात साऱ्या, रंग माझा वेगळा 

गुंतुनी गुंत्यात साऱ्या, पाय माझा मोकळा.

The two lines above would make no sense if translated literally. However, the sense of the two lines is that although being a part of the society and a part of the people in the society, I am different. I stand out among all. Although being involved in the various problems of life, I am still free from them. 

Translated literally - Although being drenched in different colours, my colour stands out. Although being stuck in all the mess, I am still free. 

It is not as easy to understand as it sounds. The poet has put down an extremely intense emotion in very simple words. It talks about a certain arrogance, a certain indifference and a certain ego. It talks about how a person perceives himself to be different from others. The poet tries to tell the reader that his life is lonely. It conveys pride and yet conveys a certain sadness. I am completely in love with this poem. It has also been rendered exceptionally well by Devaki Pandit. 

Do we all feel at a certain point that we are different from others? Do we all feel at a certain point that our's is a lonely path? We are surrounded by our friends and family and yet it feels so lonely at times. In the Qawwali, 'Chadhta Suraj', the poet touches upon this point very nicely. Perhaps the word nicely might sound too mellow, given that the words in the Qawwali are neither subtle nor indirect. They show a very naked reality. 

Perhaps my life has not yet given me the opportunity to fully understand this emotion. I have always been fortunate enough to have my family and my friends to support me. There were times when I have been physically alone but their presence in my life was never missed.

And yet, I felt like I was alone! I am in the driver's seat and I might face obstacles, bumps, potholes and diversions and even break-downs but it is in my hands whether to keep on travelling or not. Whatever support one may have in his life, he is really always alone. Your experiences are your own and your decisions are your own. 

My friend Aamir had written about a conversation that he had once had with a total of two people in it - his Alter Ego and Himself. So, if you look at it from that perspective, you are never alone. 

Strangely, it is a soothing thought when you accept that you are alone and you have to face life alone. It give you confidence in yourself and the strength to stand up to the challenges of life. You understand that help is not always round the corner.

For those who would like to hear the song, it's simply brilliant:

Patriotism: A Dying Sentiment

I am an Indian. I love my country and I am a patriot. But these days, the sentiment of patriotism for India rings hollow for me. I grew up learning about the Independence struggle of India from the British; about people like Mahatma Gandhi, Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Swatantryaveer Savarkar, Lokmanya Tilak and many others. Before that it was the oppression of the Mughals and learnt of great warriors like Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj and Maharana Pratap. I adore and am humbled to live in a country that produced such people. I am proud of my country's achievements in various fields.

But, do I really have a lot to be proud about my country at the moment?

The 'zero' was discovered in India. It is one of the oldest civilizations in the world. It has a rich heritage and culture. It has tremendous amounts of diversity not just in the peoples but geographically as well. Indian scientists and IT professionals have performed exceptionally well all over the world. It is said the the when the Mughals burnt the libraries of Nalanda (one of the oldest universities in the world) and Takshashila, they contained so many books and scriptures that they were burning for almost a year. Such was the advanced stage of culture in India hundreds and thousands of years ago. Very few countries can boast of such things.

However, most of India's achievements have been in the past. The achievements by many Indians today have been out of India in some other country that provided them with the facilities and the encouragement. Why is it that other countries have the ability to understand the importance of these things and India fails to do so/? There is certainly not a lack of talent anywhere or even money. No doubt there is poverty in India but at the same time, enough resources are available for the advancement of India in all fields.

If Indians were able to accomplish so much, centuries and millennia ago, why is it so difficult now? Lately, I have seen a general apathy towards everything. I have only seen India high up in the rankings on corruption and scandals. Is this the India that the freedom fighters were hoping for? No, definitely not. Sometimes, when I think about it, I almost feel like apologizing to those people for not having fulfilled their dream of a great India.

Anant Kanhere, a 19 year old boy killed Jackson, the Collector of Nashik. Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev and Rajguru were hanged when they were just about 24. Savarkar suffered the 'Kaalapaani', the jail on the Andaman & Nicobar Islands when he was sentenced to 50 years imprisonment. People did so much for the attainment of a noble goal and less than a century after the independence of India, the country has only been able to rake up the number of scandals and increase corruption.

I was lucky to have been born within the first 50 years of Indian Independence. There was some sense of freedom and the understanding of what it meant to be free. It was not because I had any personal experience, but I understood the importance from what I saw and heard and read around me. My grandparents and so many others were still alive to teach me the value of what I have and that I should always keep it in mind. I should never forget the sacrifices of so many that gave their lives for me to enjoy what I do today.

But, how do I make my kids understand that value? I could get a sense because I was lucky enough to be in that atmosphere. But, what do I tell my kids? Do I tell them that about 100 years ago, a 19 year old boy out of sheer determination to rid the society of an evil man and out of love for his country, killed that man? Will that have any effect? I don't know but I doubt it will. Although these people and incidents are admirable and are golden moments in the history of India, (golden, because of the spirit they represented) they may not hold much value to future generations as they did for mine and the ones before mine.

The world has changed and people are moving all over the globe. Patriotism is an idea only strengthened by a bond that you develop with your country. But how does that bond form if one keeps moving about?

As I said before, India does not have many moments of glory in the recent past. In fact, I hear people everyday compromising on their life. I hear many people say that they love India and yet complain about every single thing. Finally, all they say is that they have no choice and have to live like this. Many proclaim that whatever it is, India is the place to live, when they have never traveled outside India. Even if they have, they have only traveled for a few days, which doesn't give them a real sense of living in a different environment altogether. There are some, however, like my uncle who has lived and traveled extensively all over the world and never chose to settle anywhere else except India. He made a choice because there were some things he could not let go at home and he preferred to live in India because of the benefits it offered him, but he is not oblivious to the realities.

So, does Patriotism only come down to what makes it beneficial to someone at a particular time. Is it just convenience? I believe it should be more meaningful than that. John F. Kennedy once famously said, "Ask not your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country". He was right but there are few who even get that opportunity in India without indulging in some kind of corruption. And, he was talking to Americans who actually don't have to fight for the basic necessities of life or the basic joys of life, for example, going to a movie and not having to endure 1.5 hours of traffic to reach a theater 10 km away in a busy city like Mumbai.

I am just not sure why somebody would be proud of India right now and be patriotic towards it in the coming generations. What do they really have to be proud of? I hope I am proved wrong.

If there are any visitors from other countries to this blog and read this post, I would request you to post your views about your own country and if you feel the same. Is it the same case in your country where most of your country's achievements have been in the past and has relatively very little to show in the recent past? The reason I ask is, whether it is a sentiment echoed by people in other countries as well and that the achievements only seem to be a thing of the past in other places as well. 

Through the 'Viewfinder'

Keeping in line with the title of the blog, here's one 'Observation'. The title, I find is very apt but I cannot take the entire credit for it. My inspiration is Charles Lutwidge Dodgson or his pseudonym Lewis Carroll and his book 'Through the Looking Glass". I don't intend to analyze anything here by prying into something with a looking-glass or a viewfinder. I merely intend to make a very funny observation.

Cameras. The cameras available today would make a man 10 years ago go crazy. Such has been the development. I remember when I got my first digital camera in 2003, people didn't know how to use it. The concept of capturing the image by composing through the screen was completely novel. People would invariably try to look through the viewfinder and would get really confused to find that the viewfinder was not turned on. People might even find this surprising that there used to be an option in the earlier digital cameras, the point-and-shoot ones, to switch between the viewfinder and the screen. Point-and-shoot cameras today have no such option. It is just the LCD screen.

I bought a digital SLR a few months ago and I have been overjoyed with the acquisition. And, because of it, I came to observe that people now have forgotten that there was such a thing as a viewfinder and there are even those from the younger generation who have never used a camera with a viewfinder. They simply don't understand how to use a camera and take photos using a viewfinder. This is such a shift from what it used to be before. It came naturally to people but now it has to be learnt.

I found it very amusing that recently I had to actually teach someone how to hold my SLR and how to look through the viewfinder. It was not their inability that was amusing but the fact that just a few years ago I was teaching someone to use my point-and-shoot digital camera and look through the screen!

Hypocrisy is the tribute, vice pays to virtue

I had read this line on a bumper sticker and it just stuck with me. It is an extremely brilliant stroke of genius. Whoever thought of this must have an amazing sense of humor as well as an amazing understanding of how our mind works. I can't even begin to tell you how much I have thought about hypocrisy over the years. Honestly, there was a time (when I should not have had this problem given my age at that time, but I did) that I did not even know the meaning of this word. Now, let me start off - I AM A HYPOCRITE!!! There, that's the cat out of the bag. Wait, there's more.........

YOU ARE TOO!!!

Surprised? You shouldn't be. If you have been thinking all this while that you are not a hypocrite, you have been shamelessly misleading yourself. I think everyone is a hypocrite and the sooner you accept this, the better it is for you. Being a hypocrite doesn't really mean that you are a bad person. I believe it's a part of our make-up just like anger, sorrow, joy, etc.

I may have come off a bit strong but I thought that was required to shock the reader. Let me now elaborate why I think so.

Everyone lives with certain principles and values. These are imbibed by the culture that one grows up in. The thoughts, behavior and actions of any individual are molded by several factors and over a period of time that individual adopts and assimilates things that he finds comfort with. I feel that many of us live in a bubble of security of our culture and our surroundings. We are comfortable with that. In school and as we grow up, we are exposed to a lot of education with respect to having an open mind, having unity in diversity and many such things that are aimed at making us a better person and mitigate the differences that exist in our society. We are also successful to a large extent sometimes. However, there are times when we come across something that does not fit in to our lives. If we think about it objectively, it is fair and just but there is a nagging feeling that holds us back in accepting it. I believe this is a case where there is a contradiction; an idea where it is not in sync with the way of your life.

When in the US, I experienced many different cultures from all over the world. For them, I was weird in some cases and vice versa. It is just the perspective that gets changed. Although I try to be straight-forward and honest, there are times when I just can't. My gut doesn't allow me to. I know that at that point, I am not comfortable with that idea although there is nothing really objectionable about it.

In the Indian culture, being an extremely conservative culture it becomes more of an issue. With the age of globalization, everyone knows that geographical distances don't mean much at all. Like many other cultures, the Indian culture has been assimilating ideas from other cultures and it is growing, not in its size but in its complexity. These complex issues give rise to more contradictions to peoples' way of life. Although new ideas seem appealing, they don't gel well with the existing culture.

I will take the example of marriages in India and in particular - Hindu marriages. The astrological match of the horoscopes of the prospective bride and groom, still is an extremely important pre-condition to marriage for a huge majority. Now, many people believe that astrology is a science and I don't mean any disrespect to them but it hasn't been proved to be one. I am not saying that it is humbug but to base a marriage on horoscopes is something that I don't agree with but given so, I don't look down upon or ridicule people who believe in it. If it gives them comfort, good for them. However, the success of a marriage that has been ratified by a horoscope is very much prone to the usual problems of a marriage. There are people who are scientists and doctors and engineers whose life is based around proven theories, facts, numbers and laws; who believe in astrology although it is not an exact 'science' per se (even the people who believe in it agree with this). There are some who want to just make sure the horoscopes match although they don't really believe in it because they are afraid not to have checked it. The fear of not doing something that has been traditionally accepted is astronomical.

Indians complain of racism in other countries or secondary treatment shown to them by people in other countries. I find that quite ridiculous and the most hypocritical of all things. Yes, racism does exist and I don't deny it's existence but Indians, especially shouldn't be talking about discrimination. Hell, there is discrimination in India based on caste, religion, language, community, region, sub-caste, etc. I don't even understand all these. I don't discriminate but I don't find a problem in differentiating. I love being in an environment where there is a splendid mix of different cultures. I find that completely exhilarating to learn from others and immerse myself in different cultures. However, when this differentiation leads to negativity and disrespect, that's where the problem starts. If I look at Maharashtrian Brahmins in India, there are Karhade (I am a Karhade), Kokanastha, Deshastha (there's Rigvedi and Yajurvedi in this), Gaudh Saraswat and there's another kind which I recently found out and I don't even remember it's name. There's different types of Marathas as well and out of that, if I am not mistaken, the '69 Kuli' are considered to be the 'upper class' as such. A Punjabi friend of mine had once told me that there is a differentiation in Punjabis as well viz. Jats and Papas. In Muslims also there are different castes and sub-castes and my dear friend, Aamir once informed me that the co-existence of these different sub-sects is not easy like any other religion. Indians discriminate and look down upon people from different regions of the country. There are certain stereotypes and I am not here to discuss whether the stereotypes are correct or not or where and why and how that hatred has established itself. Now mind you, not all Indians are like that but a huge majority are and there is a huge amount of  ignorance among Indians about the different cultures in the country.

While working at the Westin Waltham-Boston hotel, a guest approached me on a Sunday morning to ask about the Churches in the vicinity for Sunday Mass. When listing the several Churches in the area, as I mentioned a Church of a particular sect (I don't remember which exactly), the guest says, "Those guys are not Christians". If I may, he was a Catholic living in a Protestant country. Go figure!

I don't think hypocrisy always manifests itself in a big way. It can even manifest in the very small things of life. People who believe in equality in society will shun away from getting acquainted with someone of a lower strata but at other times preach about how the social inequality is really the bane of society. It is very interesting to observe people behave this way.

I have seen people preach to others how taking a lot of tension about the future is not healthy and very much stupid but they themselves will worry endlessly when its their turn. There are such small things that occur all the time.

I think that contradictions that will challenge the way of our life will be a part of our life and it makes us think. Perhaps at these times, we realize that we are not as open-minded as we had thought? Perhaps we are hypocrites in this particular context only? Whether we become a hypocrite and say something and do something else is a different issue. I am not saying that we always act like a hypocrite but the thoughts do enter our mind.

I have experienced several times such contradictions and there were times, like I mentioned above, that my gut feeling didn't allow me to do something. Now, these were all personal matters so it doesn't matter so much. Hypocrisy will really create a fuss when it concerns others and you hurt them because of it. They lose respect for you and if you have some pride, you will lose that too when nobody gives a damn about what you say.

This is one of those observations in my life that I find the most interesting because of its sheer complexity and ambiguity. It is not easy to have a common standard for everything. You surprise yourself when you yourself have double-standards for something.

Please award yourself this Certificate of Hypocrisy if you are brave enough to admit that you are a hypocrite, even to the slightest extent:

(Please change the order as per your level of hypocrisy)
(I do not claim ownership of this certificate. All credit goes to the original creator)

Head or Tail?

Probably my most personal post till now. I talk about my life in this. Although I do not intend to go into specifics of names and events, I want to try and understand what I have learnt over the past one year. I have tried my best to analyse it and yet I just cannot make head or tail of the past one year.

It was a frigid day in January 2010 when I arrived at Boston Logan International Airport with the temperature being -13 C, to board my flight back home to India. I remember thinking that after I got back to India, at least I wouldn't have to deal with this weather. Little did I know, that the heat that I had missed in the four years prior to that would replace the cold as the one thing that I would really hate.

I hate the heat but that has been the most mundane of things that I have experienced in the past one year. It has been an extraordinarily weird year and I have done and experienced things that I would have never thought I would do or experience. And, it was not just in one or two aspects of my life but in all spheres; be it friendship, family or even professionally.

The variegated events have made me depressed, they have shocked me, surprised me, excited me and have made me rethink my life. They have forced me do a complete turn-about on decisions that I had, at a time, believed to be the best. I don't expect my decisions to be always work out the way I think they should but it is extremely unnerving to find that nothing that I had planned was working out.

When I think about the positives in the last one year, I can think of the wonderful new people I met, I made many new friends, I reconnected with my old friends and I embarked upon new journeys. I am not sure whether these new journeys will lead me anywhere worthwhile but I know that I will never know if I just sit idle.

But overall, it has been a challenging year for me. It has defined and redefined several things. It redefined my character. It has redefined my friendships with some. It has redefined the way I think about life and myself. Most importantly, it has defined that no matter what you have done it finally comes down to luck. I am certain many will disagree with this, but I have the experiences of not just me but my friends also backing me. I do not blame you if you believe that hard work and perseverance will always be the formula for success. I used to believe that completely. I do not disregard the value of these, but I also strongly believe now, that most of the time it is also the matter of 'being in the right place at the right time'.

I have had conversations with my friends and we have tried to make sense of life, in terms of where we are and where we are going. Invariably, we have always come to the conclusion that we will get our lives sorted out soon.

The phoenix rises from its ashes. I believe the last year was where my plumage was most beautiful, now reduced to ashes. But now I rise from it, an ugly bird biding my time until I attain my full glory. This is a metaphor that also implies that I will burn again, but I am ready for it.  

What you say...

Political correctness, diplomatic answers, witty one-liners, casual conversations, intellectual discussions, serious debates, silly banter and whispers.........various ways one can describe the verbal exchange of thoughts.

I have just returned home after meeting Aamir. A person who I can talk to for hours. I have already dedicated a post to him so I won't go into details of why I connect with him. But still, I do want to make a note on thing - I can be honest with him. I do not need to constantly explain myself or apologize if I inadvertently make a mistake. There are other friends I don't need to apologize as well and I am glad I have them.

Do you ever wonder why it is difficult to be honest with someone? Even if you haven't thought about it, the answer is pretty easy - you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. However hard we might try though, we always end up hurting someone at some time and we don't even find that out until much later. There are times when you get offended by somebody's actions and you speak out. Funnily enough, that same person who has offended you gets hurt by what you say and there is a fight. It is weird how some things turn out.

I am an easy-going person by nature, especially with friends. I joke, I pull their leg and give them a hard time and I expect that I will be at the receiving end of it at some point. I take this as a part of life and a part of friendship. These things are fun and anyone who has a friend will agree with me. There are a few, who can only dish out and get terribly upset when they are the target but that's how people are.

My problem is, it is very difficult for me to let go of an opportunity to pull somebody's leg when they themselves give it to you. Of course, I know my limits, based on the situation and the person involved. However, it is not easy to know when someone might take offense when you meant it to be nothing more than just a funny comment. Sarcasm is probably the worst thing one can choose for jokes. If the person understands it, excellent! Otherwise, it can cause a lot of issues.

Now, even in casual conversations, I have come across situations where suddenly, the conversation flares up for no reason that is immediately apparent to you. The person in front of you probably has a reason and you have no idea what it is. How does one gauge what to say and what not to say? I guess it is best to just always be politically and socially correct.

For me, I rarely take offense to what someone has said. I used to get terribly upset earlier but later on, I realized that, to use a cliche, 'every coin has two sides'. If I find something objectionable, I think about it before forming a conclusion.

There is a line by Mahatma Gandhi - One must be slow to form convictions, but once formed, they must be defended against all odds'. I really believe in this. Hasty decisions are rarely ever the best decisions.

I don't think I will ever understand how to be correct all the time while speaking but I can try my best. Like I said above, it is best to be politically and socially correct and you are safe from offending anybody. But that does restrict my right to freedom of speech. Although I say this, I also believe that if you know that something that you are going to say is obviously offending then it is best left unsaid. There is already too much bitterness in the world without one adding to it.